Hi,
You are right, the game does not force you into using magic. You choose/ As Aeterna, you are magically gifted, but it does not mean that you have to use magic all the time. You do use it during some quests, there is no other option, as these are spells that can be learned (and used) during the MQ:
http://nehrim.wikia.com/wiki/Spells#Que ... ted_Spells
(the info here is still incomplete)
And Merzul does teach you some spells that you can use during the game - lesser power and greater powers spells.
http://nehrim.wikia.com/wiki/Spells#Gre ... wer_Spells
http://nehrim.wikia.com/wiki/Spells#Les ... stances.29
You must have done this quest:
http://nehrim.wikia.com/wiki/A_Glance_to_the_Stars
To finish at least one Side Quest using magic will be required:
http://nehrim.wikia.com/wiki/The_key_to_cleanliness
The Order gives you a shelter, as you are magically gifted and therefore persecuted by Barateon's tyranny.
It also teaches you some spells that are MQ-specific. It's not like Mages' Guild and Warriors' Guild in Oblivion. You have no other Order/Guild in Nehrim, so they don't force you into using magic. Some people like it (it does give a sense of freedom), some, apparently, not:) I'm not sure if you were supposed to feel attached to the Order. I didn't. It was just a political move to use magic freely (you can't do it in cities in Middlerealm). I I didn't feel attached to any guild in Oblivion either. I didn't even feel even attached to Kim. I felt more attached to Narathzul or Arkt.
I didn't treat Nehrim as a mod to Oblivion, rather a separate, totally Oblivion non-related game that I got for free. I paid for games that had much less replayability than Nehrim, what is really disappointing. I was a huge Morrowind and Wizardry fan, Oblivion was fine, but it, for me, had no interesting story to tell (at least the MQ, I pretty liked the SQ), and the monotonous world killed the sense of exploration for me.
Hope you find some bright sides of Nehrim

Cheers